A Life Unlived, by Amaranth Traces

-- Chapter 6 --

Little Jonathan was a very clever boy. He had his father’s expressive blue eyes, his mother’s blonde hair, and shared both his parents’ love of knowledge. He was ahead of the norm in every category – his first steps, first words – he achieved all of the major childhood goals at a much younger age than average. Sam occasionally wondered what Colonel O’Neill would have thought of his young namesake. Proud, if a little frightened, she decided.

Sam had always wanted to learn to draw more than stick figures, so she signed up for art classes. She became very good at sketching portraits and she often found herself drawing the two men in her life. Her favourite pictures of Jonathan and Daniel were framed and hung all around their house.

Over the years, she published several books on theoretical astrophysics. Daniel started writing a series of children’s books about the myths and legends of ancient cultures. The illustrations of his stories were done by Sam. Together, they authored dozens of books that were loved by children all around the world. It gave them a connection to the world, and an income not indirectly derived from the tragedy on Abydos.

One day, a week before Jonathan’s fifth birthday, Sam decided to have a serious discussion with Daniel. Although he had never said anything, she knew that they were both hurting from not being able to have another child. Now that Jonathan was getting older, she thought she had come up with a solution. Given Daniel’s childhood experiences, she was pretty sure that he’d agree.

At supper that night, she pushed some forms that she had printed off the Internet across the table towards him.

“What’s this?” Daniel picked up the forms after putting a forkful of lasagne in his mouth. He scanned the pages as he chewed. Swallowing, he looked up at his wife, a question in his eyes. “Sam?”

Sam took a deep breath. “I’ve been looking into it and I thought that maybe – if you’re interested – we could apply to become foster parents?”

“Are you serious?”

She nodded. “What do you think?” She looked at him hopefully.

He got off his chair and moved to her side, pulling her into his arms. Daniel cradled her face in his hands and gazed at her lovingly. “I think I’m married to the most incredible woman in the world.” He laughed softly, “No. Make that the galaxy.”

The next week, at Jonathan’s birthday party, Sam was in the kitchen lighting the candles on her son’s cake. Daniel poked his head through the door. “Ready?”

She smiled at him. “Yep.”

“Great! Let’s go!”

Sam picked up the cake and Daniel held the swinging kitchen door open for her. They started singing ‘Happy Birthday’ as she walked toward the table, with Daniel following close behind. Jonathan’s face was glowing with pride and excitement. Sam smiled at her son over the candles as she sang.

Suddenly, her vision blurred. Sam felt dizzy and swayed slightly. Daniel caught her, but the cake fell to the floor. She looked up at her husband, his face swimming in front of her half-closed eyes.

“Daniel?” she mumbled as she reached out to touch his face. Her knees gave out and Daniel lowered her carefully to the floor.

“Sam? Come on, Sam. Look at me.” She heard his voice as if from a distance as the darkness enveloped her.

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