A Life Unlived, by Amaranth Traces

-- Chapter 9 --

Sam stood outside Daniel’s office. His door was open and she watched from the hallway as he stood hunched over something on his desk. He sighed and straightened, rubbing his neck and cursing softly.

“You okay?” she asked from the doorway.

His head whipped around and his eyes widened when he saw her. “Sam!” He smiled tentatively

“Busy?” She was nervous, and she knew he could tell.

“Not at all.” He waved dismissively at the stuff on his desk. “Are you okay?”

Sam shifted awkwardly on her feet and sighed. “Not really. I was hoping we could talk?”

“Yes! Of course, Sam, please.” He motioned for her to come in.

She closed the door to his office and turned to face him. Tears welled in her eyes. How is it possible to miss someone who’s standing right in front of you?

Approaching her, Daniel gently took her arm and guided her to sit on the sofa in his office. He sat next to her; his eyes searching her face for a way to make her feel better. He’s so very like my Daniel. God this hurts.

Sam bit her lip, trying to encourage herself to just leap in and tell him, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, she tipped the pad of paper that she was clutching so tightly to her chest slightly so that only she could see the picture. She gazed at it adoringly.

Drawing strength from the memory of her son, she hugged the drawing back to her chest, and then looked up at Daniel. “Teal’c said I was unconscious for about fifteen seconds?”

Daniel nodded.

“Do you know what that thing I touched does?”

His eyes flicked to his desk then back to her. “Not yet, no.”

“I think I do. You know how you translated part of that book as ‘leaving the life we’ve come to know’?”

Daniel nodded again. “Yeah...?”

“I think—when I touched it, my consciousness was transported into an alternate reality.”

Daniel’s eyes widened. “Really?”

Sam sniffed and nodded, “I don’t know for sure if it was real. Every other experience we’ve had with parallel universes has been in real-time. This was—” She sighed. “During those fifteen seconds, I experienced more than five years.”

“Wow...” he said softly.

She studied him a moment before continuing. “It was five wonderful years. I know I’ve been acting a little off since – I’m sorry. It’s just hard readapting to...” She glanced around the room. “...this life.” Sam sighed heavily.

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through, Sam. Do you want to talk about it?” Daniel rubbed her back and gazed at her tenderly.

The look on his face brought tears to her eyes again. She tore her eyes away from him and took a deep breath. Sam tipped the notepad away from her chest so he could see it, resting it face up on her lap.

“Who’s this?” he asked quietly, studying the drawing. “He looks...familiar.”

“He’s—” Her voice broke as the tears overflowed her eyes and began to stream down her face. “He was my son.” Sam gazed at the picture again. “His eyes are—were the most beautiful shade of blue. And so smart...” She smiled through her tears, remembering little Jonathan. Her fingers trailed over the face of the picture of her boy.

“Your son?” Daniel was clearly astonished.

Sam wiped at her tears and nodded again. She looked up at him, staring intensely into his eyes. Sam was certain that he could see the deep love she felt for him painted all over her face, but surprisingly, his gaze didn’t waver.

He brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “What was his name?”

“Jonathan,” she whispered with a wistful smile. “Jonathan Jacob—” Sam hesitated before finishing. “Jackson.”

Daniel’s jaw dropped. “Jackson?”

She sighed again. “I should start at the beginning...”

“Yeah, okay,” he said cautiously, his eyes again dropping to the image in her lap.

Sam looked around his office again. “But not here. Can we go...somewhere else?”

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