Chemical Awareness, by Amaranth Traces

-- Chapter 6 --

A short while later, Sam had walked back to her office and snuggled into her sofa. She tried to relax, but her mind kept going over what Janet had said about talking to Daniel about how she felt about him. Her fingers touched her lips as she remembered that last kiss he had given her.

It had taken all her self-control not to leap into his arms then and there. Thank God Teal’c had been there, or she didn’t know what she would have done.

A knock at her door woke her. She looked at the clock and saw she had been sleeping for two hours. “Come in!” she called to the door.

“Hey Sam. Glad to see you got some rest.” Janet let herself into the office.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah they’re fine, but they’re asking for you.”

“Are they behaving?”

Janet smiled. “So far, yes. But I’d like you to talk to them a while. See if you can make sure that they stay that way.”

“Sure.”

The two women headed down the hall.

“Do you have the results from their last blood tests yet?” asked Sam.

“Not yet, but I expect them within the hour.”

Sam nodded and mentally crossed her fingers that this whole mess would be over soon enough.

“Have you given any thought to what we were talking about earlier?”

Sam just blinked at the doctor.

“Talking to Daniel,” Janet clarified.

Sam sighed. “I’m just going to play it by ear, Janet. Maybe this chemical really is affecting their feelings.”

“Hmm...” was Janet’s only reply.

As before, Sam visited Colonel O’Neill first. He seemed only slightly agitated and repeatedly asked either for him to be let out or for her to join him. Sam gently declined all requests. They spoke for about twenty-five minutes before Janet called her away.

“Their last results do show quite a reduction in the concentration of the compound. In fact, graphing the level over time, it looks like it’s decreasing at an exponential rate. I’m ordering one last set of tests to confirm, but I think they’ll both be back to their usual selves within a few hours.”

Sam was relieved. “That makes sense. Colonel O’Neill still acting strangely, but he’s definitely a lot better than before.” She absentmindedly touched the bandage on her neck. Sam went back into the observation room above the Colonel and supervised him as the nurses took another blood sample. They finished and left quickly. Sam smiled at him and relayed Janet’s news.

Next, Sam went to see Daniel. As she looked through the window into his room and saw him sitting on the bed watching as the nurses drew his blood. She sat down and flicked on the intercom, listening to the conversation within the room.

“Have you seen Sam?”

“Yes, Dr. Jackson. She was just speaking with Colonel O’Neill.”

Daniel visibly bristled at the news. “She’s in there with him?” His voice was low.

“No, she was up in the observation area overlooking his room.” The nurse waved her hand in the direction of his observation room and saw Sam sitting there. Sam quickly raised a finger to her lips and shook her head. The nurse quickly looked back at Daniel.

“What are they talking about?”

“I’m sure I don’t know, Dr. Jackson.”

The nurses finished their task and left the room. Daniel stood up and paced the floor.

Sam watched him for a moment and was relieved when he finally sat down on the bed again. He rested his arms on his knees and held his head in his hands.

“Daniel?”

He looked up sharply at the window. “Sam. You were with Jack,” he accused quietly.

“We were just talking.”

“Talking.” He stood and came closer to the window.

“I wouldn’t lie to you Daniel.”

He studied her and sighed. “I’m in love with you, Sam. Do you love me? Earlier I was so confident that you were mine and only mine. Now—now I’m not sure. I don’t understand what’s happening. Do you love me, Sam?”

“Daniel, the chemical in your blood that’s caused the change in your behaviour is being degraded by your body. Soon you’ll be back to normal.”

“You didn’t answer my question, Sam.”

“You’re not yourself.” She was running out of ways to avoid the topic.

He threw his hands up in a gesture of frustration and walked away. His arms wrapped protectively around his body and he turned back to her. “I am.”

“Janet doesn’t think it will be much longer for the compound to be eliminated from your system. Maybe a few more hours.”

Daniel stepped back towards the window. He pulled up a chair and climbed on it to get closer to her. He placed his hand on the glass and looked at her imploringly. “Can you please come in here?”

Sam sighed and turned away from him. It was so hard to say no to those eyes,.“Daniel, I can’t.”

“Please, Sam. Look at me?”

She reluctantly turned her eyes back to him.

“I won’t hurt you. You know that, right? I just...I just want to be near you. Please?”

Sam felt like she could drown in his gaze. “Just for a few minutes,” she whispered.

His face lit up in a spectacular smile and she felt her heart flutter. She stood up and turned off the intercom, then headed into the hallway. Before she could question her decision, Sam unlocked the door and entered Daniel’s room. He had stepped down from the chair but was still standing on the other side of the room.

Daniel slowly walked toward her. He stopped a few steps away and stared at her. “Thank you.” He smiled again and held his hands out to her, waiting.

She bit her lip and took a step forward, placing her hands in his. Daniel’s smile broadened and he led her to the bed.

Sam hesitated and he turned to face her again. “I just want to sit with you.”

Nervously, Sam followed him and they sat down. He released her hand and draped his arm over her shoulders.

“I’m worried about you, Daniel,” said Sam.

“I’m fine.” Sam frowned and he shook his head. “I know I always say that, but I mean it. I really am fine, Sam.” He squeezed her shoulder gently and she relented, resting her head on his shoulder. It was a pose they had found themselves in so many times over their years of friendship. It was comfortable and familiar.

Daniel kissed the top of her head. “Do you love me, Sam?” he mumbled quietly into her hair.

She closed her eyes; I should have known he wouldn’t let that subject drop so easily. Sam decided to play it casual. “Of course I love you, Daniel. You know that.”

He sighed. “You know what I mean. Are you in love with me?”

Sam stood up. He caught her hand, stopping her.

“I should go,” she said.

Daniel stood and gazed at her. “Why won’t you answer my question?”

“Damn it, Daniel. This isn’t—you’re not—” Sam didn’t know how to articulate her thoughts.

He tenderly touched her cheek. Sam’s eyes fluttered closed before she regained control and stepped away from him. “Daniel we can talk about this later. When you’re back to normal.”

“You can tell me that you’re not, you know. I won’t go crazy or anything.” He released a sad sigh. “I just really need to know, Sam.”

“We’ll talk when you’re feeling better.”

“I do love you, Sam. This chemical, or whatever it is, hasn’t created that feeling.” He said as she reached the door. She turned to look back at him.

“I never told you because I was afraid. I was afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same way...afraid that I’d lose your friendship. But we can have so much more, Sam. We could make each other so happy.” Daniel had moved to her side. He brushed a wisp of hair off her forehead and trailed the back of his fingers across her cheek.

“Daniel, I have to go now.” Sam didn’t think she could take much more of this.

He nodded and his hand dropped to his side. “We’ll talk later. Just think about it.”

Stepping outside, Sam swiped the door locked and headed swiftly back to her office. When she arrived, she closed the door and leaned heavily against it. With a shuddering breath, she sank to the floor and hugged her knees to her chest. What am I going to do?

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