Ouroboros, by Amaranth Traces

-- Chapter Four --

Sam watched as the base’s self-destruct countdown ticked away the last seconds of her life. This whole mess was a sad twist of cosmic irony. Now that she finally knew what she wanted in her life, she was going to die. Of course Anubis was about to destroy all life in the galaxy, so she was hardly the only one. But still, it was ironic. Not to mention annoying.

The break-up with Pete had gone far better than she had feared. He had been hurt, that much was certain, but he had also implied he’d been expecting it. His reaction had been a far cry from what Sam had anticipated. It bothered her. Not because she wanted him to beg her to stay, but because his reaction made her realise that she didn’t really know him at all.

Not that any of that mattered now.

Fifteen seconds. This plan wasn’t going to work. Destroying the base wouldn’t destroy the stargate. It wouldn’t stop the device’s energy field from reaching Earth. Sam knew it. General O’Neill knew it. Everyone knew it. But they had little choice. There wasn’t enough time to come up with a better plan. Not when Anubis had control of the device on Dakara. The device with which Sam had killed Daniel.

Sam tried to focus. Her guilt was irrelevant now. She looked around. No one was evacuating the base. There simply wasn’t time. The General had ordered the countdown to start at thirty seconds. Barely enough time for people to make peace with themselves. Hell, most people were still going about their regular duties.

It was absurd. Fully aware of the pending destruction of every living thing in the Milky Way, people were still complaining about the quality of the commissary’s coffee.

Five seconds. Daniel. Sam was surprised she hadn’t thought of it before. He had ascended again, she was sure of it. Daniel could stop Anubis. She glanced at General O’Neill, wondering if he was thinking the same thing she was.

Two seconds. Sam watched, barely surprised, as the countdown slowed. Yes. Daniel had done it, and now he was saving them from themselves. She looked out to the gate room and watched as the shimmering light in the gate room disappeared with the usual high-pitched whine of the stargate shutting down.

“Wormhole disengaged,” said Sergeant Harriman with awe in his voice.

Sam couldn’t blame him for being surprised. He didn’t know Daniel as well as she did. But she wasn’t about to start talking about help from higher beings in front of him. Instead, she looked at the computer monitors before the Sergeant, frowning. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “Must be some kind of...system malfunction.”

Right. She almost laughed. A malfunction that conveniently disengaged the incoming wormhole and, at the very same time, stopped the self-destruct mechanism from blowing up the entire mountain. That’s not very likely. In fact... “That’s impossible,” she said.

“Shut it off,” General O’Neill said.

With a brief glance at him, Sam turned to the computer. “Aborting self-destruct.” She entered her code, and the alarms stopped blaring. Sam looked at the General and raised her eyebrows, silently asking if he also believed that Daniel was involved.

Instead of responding, he just looked back at the stargate and puffed out his cheeks with a heavy breath.

She stared at him. She knew she’d have no problem convincing the General that they should begin a search for Daniel. In her mind, Sam began running through all of the possible planets where they could begin. The Others had little tolerance for ascended beings meddling in the affairs of mere mortals. Daniel was undoubtedly being punished for saving the galaxy. The last time he had interfered, The Others had wiped his memory and sent him to Vis Uban.

If they followed the same routine, she would have to find Daniel and help him remember who he was again.

And this time, if he asked her if there was anything between them, she’d give the answer she had wanted to give in the first place. That no, there wasn’t anything more than friendship between them, but that didn’t mean there couldn’t be.

This time, she’d do things right.

--

Just hours later, Bra’tac came through the stargate from Dakara with news that Anubis’s Kull army had been defeated.

General O’Neill, Bra’tac, Teal’c and Sam sat in the briefing room, discussing what had happened.

“The Kull warriors became disorganised, confused,” said Bra’tac. “As though they no longer knew what to do.”

“They no longer had a master to serve.” Teal’c smiled at Sam, making her think that he also believed Daniel had something to do with the fall of Anubis.

Bra’tac nodded slightly. “After that, they were easily defeated.”

“Many Jaffa lost their lives at Dakara. Those that survived are united as never before.”

Sam smiled. The Jaffa had worked hard for their freedom. She wouldn’t be surprised if Teal’c ended up becoming a leader of the Free Jaffa.

“And we are in agreement. The weapon must be destroyed.” Teal’c looked at General O’Neill. Sam followed his gaze.

He nodded. “Well, that’s good.”

She smiled faintly at him, happy that they wouldn’t have to worry about anyone else holding the galaxy hostage with the device on Dakara. No one should have that kind of power.

“A new memorial will be erected in its place so that our triumph over the Goa’uld will never be forgotten,” Bra’tac continued.

Sam wanted to get back to talking about how Anubis had been defeated in the first place, but she still didn’t want to be the one to suggest Daniel’s involvement. She tried to bring up the topic subtly. “I still don’t quite understand what happened. One minute Anubis is about to push the button that ends all life in the galaxy, and the next minute he’s just...gone.” Once they officially decided that Daniel had been involved, they’d begin searching for him. When he was found, alive and well, then maybe Sam could start to forgive herself for killing him.

A tingle caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. Sam straightened slightly in her chair and looked at the General out of the corner of her eye, but he didn’t seem to have felt anything out of the ordinary. She tried to shake it off.

“Indeed,” said Teal’c. “It is a great mystery.” Sam tried to hide her disappointment that he hadn’t mentioned Daniel.

“One can only assume he was vanquished by some beings. If not, why would he forfeit the weapon and his army?” asked Bra’tac.

Surprise of surprises, her segue to the topic she so desperately wanted to address came from the person most removed from the subject. Sam leaped on the opportunity and turned to the General, studying him hopefully. “You think?”

“I do.”

She smiled briefly, relieved. “It’s the only thing that would explain the self destruct not going off.”

“Of what do you speak?” asked Bra’tac.

Teal’c answered. “O’Neill believes that Daniel Jackson was somehow responsible.”

Sam nodded.

“Nope! It wasn’t me!”

She felt her eyes widen, and she straightened in her chair again. Had she just imagined Daniel’s voice?

“Anybody else hear that?”

Sam looked at General O’Neill and nodded, her breath catching in her throat.

“I’m in here!” Daniel’s voice was coming from the General’s office. Sam was frozen in her chair. Why wasn’t he coming out to greet them? Every part of her body was screaming at her to run into the office to confirm that she wasn’t having a delusion, that Daniel had returned, that he was alive. But she couldn’t move.

The General turned back to Sam. “That’s Daniel!” he said before getting up from the table and walking quickly toward his office.

“No! Don’t come in!”

“Whoa!” General O’Neill back-pedalled out of his office. “Hey there!” he said loudly.

Daniel was back. They didn’t have to find him. He was back. Sam heard him say something but couldn’t make out what it was. She sat there, still frozen, watching as the General turned around and pulled the SGC flag from its pole, passing it into his office.

A moment later, Daniel emerged from the office, the flag wrapped around his waist. Sam gasped. Finally regaining motor control, she turned away, trying to keep her emotions in check. Daniel was back. He was alive. And he was naked!

“It’s a...long story,” he said.

Sam felt him staring at her, and she looked up at him, smiling nervously. Involuntarily, her eyes moved over his body. Daniel had changed considerably over the years. The muscular body he had worked so hard for was a far cry from that of the young archaeologist she met on Abydos.

Her emotions were in stark opposition to each other. On the one hand, she was thrilled beyond belief that Daniel was not only alive and back on Earth, but also that he seemed to have retained all of his memories. But on the other, she was terrified of what his reaction would be when she told him why he had died in the first place. And she would have to tell him. Soon.

Daniel turned to look at her again, and Sam stood up. First things first. She needed to welcome her friend home. Walking quickly forward, Sam threw her arms around his body and hugged him tightly. She feared he might push her away like he did last time and nearly sobbed with relief when she felt him wrap his free arm around her back. She squeezed her eyes closed, for once not caring if the General saw her emotional side. The embrace felt wonderful.

Sam opened her eyes. “I knew you’d be back”, she whispered. Reluctantly, she pulled away to look at him, tears blurring her vision.

“It pleases me to no end to see you alive and well, Daniel Jackson.”

“Thanks, Teal’c. It’s good to be back. Again.”

“So, if it wasn’t you, who was it?”

“Uh, I’d be happy to explain everything, Jack, but could I get some clothes first?”

Before the General could answer, Sam headed for the door. “I’ll go get you something.” Leaving the briefing room, she cast a glance over her shoulder at Daniel.

As she walked down the hallway on the way to the locker room, she took a deep, cleansing breath, trying to remain calm. Daniel was home. She definitely needed to talk to him privately as soon as possible.

Stepping out of the elevator, voices down the corridor caught her attention. She heard someone mention Daniel’s name. Sam stopped at the corner and listened.

“I don’t believe it!”

“Well, believe it. He’s back.”

Sam’s eyebrows rose. She knew that the rumour mill at the SGC moved quickly, but this was just ridiculous. Daniel hadn’t even left the briefing room yet. No one outside of herself, the General, Teal’c and Bra’tac could possibly know that Daniel had returned. The airmen down the hall continued their conversation.

“How?”

“How does he ever return from the dead? Who knows? All I can tell you is he just appeared – poof, out of nowhere – in General O’Neill’s office.”

Sam’s eyes locked on a security camera near the ceiling. It was the only explanation. Sam made a mental note to speak to the SF on duty in the security office. She checked her watch and decided that in order to ensure that Daniel’s dignity remained intact, she’d also arrange for a little accident that would wipe the last ten minutes of footage from the General’s office.

She walked briskly down the corridor, past the gossiping airmen. Finally, Sam retrieved a spare uniform from Daniel’s locker and hurried back to the briefing room. The door was slightly ajar, so she opened it and went inside.

“—twice now. I think that’s pretty helpful,” Daniel was saying.

The General rolled his eyes. “Yes, well, there is that.”

Sam approached and Daniel looked at her gratefully. “Oh, thank you.”

She pressed the clothing into his outstretched hands, her eyes searching his, her heart aching. “I’ll just wait outside,” she said softly.

His eyes narrowed slightly, his head tilting to one side, but he nodded. “Thanks.”

The General cleared his throat. “I think it’s best if we all wait outside.”

“Good plan, Jack.”

Back in the hallway again, Sam leaned against the wall.

General O’Neill stood in front of her, grinning. He raised a finger and waved it in the air. “I told ya he’d be back.”

She smiled weakly. “Yes, sir.”

“This is a joyous occasion,” said Bra’tac.

“Indeed,” Teal’c agreed.

A few moments later, the briefing room door opened, and Daniel, now fully clothed, stepped out. The General clapped a hand on his shoulder. “That’s much better.”

Daniel chuckled. “No kidding.”

“Daniel Jackson,” Bra’tac said as he stepped forward. “I am most pleased that you have returned. I wish I could remain longer, but I must return to Dakara.”

“I will accompany you to the stargate, old friend,” said Teal’c. “There is much work to be done.”

General O’Neill waved as Teal’c and Bra’tac headed down the corridor. “Have fun, you two.” He turned back to Daniel. “Okay. We need to get you to the infirmary.”

“I feel fine, Jack.”

“I’m sure you do. But you’ve been dead for more than a week, so you understand why I’d like to get a professional’s opinion that you are, in fact, fine.”

There was a brief pause before Daniel answered. “Alright, I’m going.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

Sam followed Daniel and the General down the hall toward the infirmary. Before they rounded the first corner, Sergeant Harriman’s voice stopped them.

“Uh, General?”

General O’Neill rolled his eyes as he turned around. “Yes, Sergeant?”

“Um, there’s a small problem with SG-7, sir.” He nodded to Daniel. “Welcome back, Doctor Jackson.”

Daniel grinned. “Thanks.”

“What kind of problem?” asked the General.

“Well, sir, you remember that pink slime they were covered in when they returned from their mission the other day? Uh, they’ve been getting regular check-ups to make sure there aren’t any lasting effects, and, um...”

“Yes?”

Sergeant Harriman cleared his throat nervously. “It–it seems that the members of SG-7 have developed a certain, uh, attraction for metallic objects, sir. There was an incident in the commissary. One of them was injured. They’re in the research lab with Doctors Lee and Carmichael now.”

The General groaned. “Magnets. It’s always magnets.” He turned to Sam and Daniel. “No rest for the wicked. Carter, you make sure that Daniel sees a doctor right away.”

Sam nodded, not trusting herself to speak right now.

“And Daniel?”

“Jack?”

“I’m glad you’re back.”

“Me too.”

They watched the General follow Sergeant Harriman for a moment before turning to continue down the corridor to the infirmary.

Sam kept her gaze fixed to the floor as they walked, but out of the corner of her eye, she could see Daniel periodically looking in her direction.

“You okay?”

She glanced at him and nodded, forcing a smile. She could tell he wasn’t buying her act. But the corridors of the SGC were not where she wanted to start the conversation that was burning a hole in her stomach. Thankfully, Daniel seemed to understand, and they continued toward the infirmary in companionable silence.

Sam barely noticed as they passed two airmen talking in the corridor outside the infirmary.

“Seriously,” said one of them. “I saw it with my own eyes. The fork flew off the rack all by itself and impaled Lieutenant Prebble right in the arm! I’ve never seen anything like it! And I’ve seen my fair share of strange things on this base.”

“They should have plastic utensils in the commissary,” said the second airman. “I’ve been saying that for months now.”

Sam brushed past the chatty airmen and entered the infirmary. After a thorough examination, Daniel was declared fit to resume duty. He was released and Sam walked with him back to his office. When they arrived, Daniel closed the door.

She stared at his desk, not turning to face him. “You still have all of your memories.”

“Yeah.”

Sam collapsed into a chair and squeezed her eyes closed, dropping her head into her hands. She felt Daniel’s hand on her arm.

“Sam, what’s wrong?”

She opened her eyes to find him kneeling on the floor in front of her. The expression of deep concern on his face broke her resolve, and her vision blurred as her eyes welled with tears.

“Daniel, I’m so sorry.” Sorry. That was the most pathetic thing in the world to say.

He looked confused but pulled her into a hug. “For what?”

“It was me. I killed you,” Sam sobbed into his chest.

She felt Daniel’s body tense. He pulled away and stared at her.

“No, you didn’t,” he said. “She wasn’t you.”

Sam blinked at him. “What?”

Daniel seemed to hesitate, the muscles in his jaw flexing and the crease between his brows deepening slightly. “You didn’t kill me, Sam.”

“I did. I helped calibrate the device, and I told my dad to activate it. It destroyed the ship you were on. I knew you were out there, and I did it anyway.”

His expression softened. “Sam, you did what you had to do. You saved the galaxy. And I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I should have found another way.”

“There wasn’t time.”

“I could have—”

“Sam, stop.” Daniel hands on her shoulders forced her to look at him. “Don’t do this to yourself. Please. You did what needed to be done. It was the right thing to do.”

Reluctantly, Sam nodded, and Daniel wrapped his arms around her. They held each other for a long moment. Then, pulling away from Daniel’s embrace, she looked at him. His lips were curved in a kind smile, and he gently brushed the tears from her cheeks.

“You okay?” he asked.

“You’re alive,” Sam answered, nodding. “I’m okay.” She was grateful for Daniel’s almost limitless understanding, but she knew it would take longer for her to forgive herself for what had happened to him.

She ran a hand through her hair and looked at him. His deep blue eyes were filled with care and understanding. Then she remembered something.

“What did you mean ‘she wasn’t you’?”

In less than a second, his face became an unreadable mask. “Nothing, Sam. Never mind.”

She frowned, studying him. Daniel didn’t shut down like that very often. Sam felt her eyes widen in horror as she realised the answer to her question. Standing quickly, she backed away from him. “Oh, God.”

“Sam, please.” Daniel stood and approached slowly, reaching out to her.

She raised her hands to stop him. Her throat was painfully dry. “She killed you,” she whispered.

He winced, and she knew she was right.

“How?” Sam managed to ask.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Tell me,” she pleaded.

Daniel’s eyes searched hers. He must have seen that she wasn’t going to let this go. “It was very...Terminator-esque,” he said. “Her arm became a blade and she, uh, ran me through.” He shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “She was, ah, a little angry with me.”

Sam was appalled. “How can you look at me and not see the person who killed you?”

“She wasn’t you, Sam.”

“Wasn’t she? She had my thoughts, my memories, my feelings. What are any of us besides that?” Sam laughed harshly. “She thinks, therefore she is me.” She raised a trembling hand to her forehead. This was worse than she had imagined. She hadn’t thought it could be any worse than knowing Daniel had died in the cold vacuum of space after the ship disintegrated around him. But to have died at the hands of her Replicator double, to have her face be the last that he saw before dying, that was too much for her to handle.

Suddenly, Sam felt Daniel’s hand on her arm again, and she twisted away, backing up another step until her back pressed against a wall. “How can you touch me? I killed you. Twice over!” Sam wrapped her arms around her waist and grimaced as nausea threatened to overwhelm her.

“Sam.” Daniel’s voice was calm but firm. “She wasn’t you.”

Her knees wobbled, and she started to slide down the wall. Daniel was immediately at her side and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as he eased her to the floor. Too dazed to fight him, Sam barely noticed as her arms wrapped around his waist.

“She wasn’t you,” Daniel murmured, holding her tightly in his arms as they sat against the wall. He stroked her hair and continued whispering comfort as her tears again soaked into his shirt. “Don’t you realise that everything about you just further demonstrates how unlike her you really are?”

Sam rested her head on his shoulder, trying to regain control of her breathing. After several minutes, she sighed and closed her eyes, savouring Daniel’s closeness.

“Daniel?”

“Hmm?” he murmured.

“I missed you.”

Daniel pulled back and smiled softly at her. “I missed you, too.”

“I knew you’d come back. What I didn’t know is if you’d hate me once you did.”

“I could never hate you, Sam.” He gently brushed her hair off her forehead.

Sam looked into his eyes and saw no shred of fear, anger or hatred. His expression was one of concern and understanding. He seemed more worried about how she was handling this news than he was disturbed about it himself.

“How is it that you managed to come back with all your memories this time?” Sam asked. “After the countdown stopped, I was trying to think of all the places The Others might have sent you for interfering.”

“Well, I didn’t interfere this time. It was all Oma. So when I ascended, I was able to choose to take human form again. I guess I was able to keep my memories and choose where I went because descending wasn’t a punishment this time.”

Sam studied his expression. “So, you’re here because you want to be here?”

He nodded and Sam smiled. He had chosen to come back home. That was promising. She knew she should tell him now. She had promised her dad that she’d tell him. Sam bit her lip, trying to muster the courage to continue.

Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. With a frustrated sigh, she looked away from him. She was such a coward. She couldn’t say it. Sam squeezed her eyes closed, trying to find the words to tell Daniel how she felt about him.

“Sam.” Daniel’s voice was soft and soothing. She opened her eyes and looked at him. A small smile danced on his lips.

“The truth is...” He took a deep breath. “I’m here because I want to be with you.”

“You what?” she whispered.

“Sam, I—” He smiled and touched her cheek. “I love you,” he said softly. “I’d rather live my life here, near you, than spend an eternity never able to see you or talk to you again.”

She stared at him, dumbfounded. Her heart was racing. She couldn’t believe what he was saying. Not only did he not hate her for killing him, but he loved her? He had given up a life on a higher plane of existence to be with her?

Daniel took her hand and held it between his. “You don’t have to love me back, Sam. I just— I needed to tell you. You need to understand that I—”

Her eyes welled with tears as she looked at him. She leaned forward and pressed her mouth gently against his. After the briefest of moments, Daniel’s lips returned her kiss. Too soon though, he pulled away, his eyes searching hers.

“Sam?”

“I promised Dad that I’d tell you. But I was afraid.” She smiled at him. “I love you, Daniel. I think I always have.”

He smiled and cupped her cheek with his hand, brushing his thumb lightly over her lips. Then he frowned. “What about Pete?”

“I called it off while—” Sam shook her head, her eyes darting to the floor. “It took losing you to realise that I’d never love him as much as I love you.”

Daniel cupped her chin, lifting her face to look at him. “Maybe I should have told you a long time ago, then.”

With a quiet sigh, Sam shook her head again. “All that matters is that we’ve said it now,” she whispered.

He pulled her closer, his lips curved in a seductive smile. “I’m going to kiss you again.”

She laughed softly. “I sure hope so.”

Their lips met again, sending a delicious tingle through Sam’s body. The fingers of one hand tangled in his hair while her other hand explored his back. Their mouths opened, tongues touching in a fiery explosion of emotion. Sam moaned softly, tilting her head slightly to get a better angle. Their tongues slid past each other, exploring and tasting.

Daniel’s hand dropped to the small of her back. Sam allowed him to pull her into his lap, their lips never parting. He groaned as she leaned into him, pressing him back against the wall.

Her hands moved up the strong muscles in his arms to his shoulders. From there, they began a downward journey again, this time over his chest. She felt Daniel caressing her back. His hands slid down her thighs and back up to her hips. Their mouths moved hungrily over each other.

Slowly, Sam remembered where they were. She pulled away and gazed at Daniel, smiling. On the floor next to one of Daniel’s bookshelves, they were out of the direct line of sight of the security camera. But Sam was pretty sure it would be obvious what was going on if the feed from Daniel’s office happened to be on the screen at any time during the last few minutes. However, as much as she knew they should continue exploring this new facet to their relationship somewhere else, right now, Sam was just too happy to care.

She pressed her lips tenderly to Daniel’s forehead and then dropped scattered kisses across his face.

He laughed, capturing her face in his hands. She traced his lips with a finger. “I love this smile,” she whispered. “I miss this smile.”

Daniel’s eyes twinkled happily at her. “Well, I think it’s here to stay now.”

“That, Doctor Jackson, is a very, very good thing.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

As he leaned forward for another kiss, there was a loud knock, and General O’Neill’s voice filtered through the door. “Daniel? You in there?”

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